The tension between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is as old as man. The tension takes toll on some family relationship as it breaks their peace into pieces. When this kind of crisis sparks, it hurts all members of the family directly or indirectly.
The conflict between Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law happens irrespective of where they live. Whether they live under the same roof or not, tension may start between them but the worse part of it is when they live under the same roof.
In this kind of conflict, every member of the family has their own opinion and part to support. The father-in-law doesn't want to be involved so he stands on the fence. Husband's brothers also stands on the fence most at times. Husband's sisters do support their mom in this kind of conflict though not all.
When the issue is conceived and matured enough it turns to combat and creates a rowdy sane. Women know how to tie their waist in this kind of situation. Because of the power in women's words, members of the family in war may get hurt and come in and that is how Mother-in-law versus daughter-in-law conflict could disintegrate the peace of their family into pieces.
What is the cause of Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law rivalry ?
These are the causes of Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law rivalry.
(1) The battle for power
(2) High expectation from both parties
(3) Lack of respect for each other
(4) Criticism
(5) Lack of rules and boundaries
(1) The battle for power
Two kings cannot rule at a same time. By the time mother-in-law wants absolute control over her daughter-in-law, and vice versa, there way be conflict between them. "Daughter-in-laws need autonomy, they need independence and when you come by unannounced, you undermine that", says Terry Apter. Some mother-in-laws visit their daughter-in-laws without informing them just because they wants to control their son's family the way they usually control their son when he was not married. But daughter-in-law want to run the affair of her home independently. And this may create a serious tension.
(2) High expectation
Mother-in-law want daughter-in-law to treat her the same way daughter-in-law treats her mom. Though daughter-in-law may call mother-in-law 'mom', they thing of mother-in-law as another mom not their real biological mom. That high expectation may make mother-in-law thinks that daughter-in-law is dis respecting.
daughter-in-law expects being a new mom of her new family and better freedom and independence in her new family. When the expected didn't happen, it becomes problem.
(3) Lack of respect
When mother-in-law disrespects daughter-in-law and her parent and daughter-in-law disrespect her mother-in-law too, there will be a serious tension. Disrespecting the relationship between daughter-in-law and her parent by mother-in-law can cause serious tension.
(4) Criticism
Mother-in-law criticizing daughter-in-law's parent or daughter-in-law's children, reporting every movement of daughter-in-law to the husband of daughter-in-law is a big mistake. Criticism from daughter-in-law can also be a big threat to the health of their relationship in the family.
(5) Lack of rules and boundaries
Only you knows what you want and what you don't want. Unless you open out to people you are relating with, they'll keep on doing that which you don't want. Some people because they want to be closer to their in-law, they ignore to set boundaries thinking that setting boundary will decrease the closeness of the relationship.
370. Couples were followed by researchers since they were first wed. The closeness of each couple were scaled and rated after tracking and record of data.
According to the researchers, daughter-in-law that had closer relationship to their in-laws had 20% higher risk of divorce than those that had less close relationship with their in-laws. On the other hand, husbands that had closer relationship with their in-laws had 20% lower probability of separation than those reported less closer to their in-laws.
They say it takes two to tango. The two parties, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law must find peaceful co-existence if they want a peaceful and happy relationship to exist in their family because only one person can't maintain peace when the other one doesn't make any effort to maintain peace in the family.
Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, who do you think causes most of the tension?
We need your comment concerning this question.
The conflict between Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law happens irrespective of where they live. Whether they live under the same roof or not, tension may start between them but the worse part of it is when they live under the same roof.
In this kind of conflict, every member of the family has their own opinion and part to support. The father-in-law doesn't want to be involved so he stands on the fence. Husband's brothers also stands on the fence most at times. Husband's sisters do support their mom in this kind of conflict though not all.
When the issue is conceived and matured enough it turns to combat and creates a rowdy sane. Women know how to tie their waist in this kind of situation. Because of the power in women's words, members of the family in war may get hurt and come in and that is how Mother-in-law versus daughter-in-law conflict could disintegrate the peace of their family into pieces.
What is the cause of Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law rivalry ?
These are the causes of Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law rivalry.
(1) The battle for power
(2) High expectation from both parties
(3) Lack of respect for each other
(4) Criticism
(5) Lack of rules and boundaries
(1) The battle for power
Two kings cannot rule at a same time. By the time mother-in-law wants absolute control over her daughter-in-law, and vice versa, there way be conflict between them. "Daughter-in-laws need autonomy, they need independence and when you come by unannounced, you undermine that", says Terry Apter. Some mother-in-laws visit their daughter-in-laws without informing them just because they wants to control their son's family the way they usually control their son when he was not married. But daughter-in-law want to run the affair of her home independently. And this may create a serious tension.
(2) High expectation
Mother-in-law want daughter-in-law to treat her the same way daughter-in-law treats her mom. Though daughter-in-law may call mother-in-law 'mom', they thing of mother-in-law as another mom not their real biological mom. That high expectation may make mother-in-law thinks that daughter-in-law is dis respecting.
daughter-in-law expects being a new mom of her new family and better freedom and independence in her new family. When the expected didn't happen, it becomes problem.
(3) Lack of respect
When mother-in-law disrespects daughter-in-law and her parent and daughter-in-law disrespect her mother-in-law too, there will be a serious tension. Disrespecting the relationship between daughter-in-law and her parent by mother-in-law can cause serious tension.
(4) Criticism
Mother-in-law criticizing daughter-in-law's parent or daughter-in-law's children, reporting every movement of daughter-in-law to the husband of daughter-in-law is a big mistake. Criticism from daughter-in-law can also be a big threat to the health of their relationship in the family.
(5) Lack of rules and boundaries
Only you knows what you want and what you don't want. Unless you open out to people you are relating with, they'll keep on doing that which you don't want. Some people because they want to be closer to their in-law, they ignore to set boundaries thinking that setting boundary will decrease the closeness of the relationship.
370. Couples were followed by researchers since they were first wed. The closeness of each couple were scaled and rated after tracking and record of data.
According to the researchers, daughter-in-law that had closer relationship to their in-laws had 20% higher risk of divorce than those that had less close relationship with their in-laws. On the other hand, husbands that had closer relationship with their in-laws had 20% lower probability of separation than those reported less closer to their in-laws.
They say it takes two to tango. The two parties, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law must find peaceful co-existence if they want a peaceful and happy relationship to exist in their family because only one person can't maintain peace when the other one doesn't make any effort to maintain peace in the family.
Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, who do you think causes most of the tension?
We need your comment concerning this question.
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